


Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: anomaly number... whatever

by stuck_inmyemophase



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Monster Falls (Gravity Falls), Cervitaur Dipper Pines, Dipper's Guide To The Unexplained, Gargoyle Stan Pines, Gen, Sphinx Ford Pines, Unitaur Mabel Pines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuck_inmyemophase/pseuds/stuck_inmyemophase
Summary: Please like and subscribe! THIS IS NOT SPECIAL EFFECTS!!!!We found a river in the forest that turned us into monsters!--Alternatively: Dipper records another episode of "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained"
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines, Dipper Pines & Ford Pines & Mabel Pines & Stan Pines, Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: anomaly number... whatever

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for Gravity Falls. I only watch it because of the you-know-what happening now. Glad I did.  
> It's supposed to be set out like one of the shorts. Let me know what you think!

"No, hang on- just balance the camera on the- okay. Hello! Welcome to Dipper's Guide to the unexplained!"

Dipper backs away from the camera, arms outstretched revealing his new form. Whilst his top half looks relatively the same, save for new deer-like ears and stubs for antlers he insists are hidden under his hat, his lower half has been completely replaced with that of a young deer. The brown fur matches his hair quite well, and is marked with several white spots scattering his back. His legs look far too long for his body and he clearly is having trouble walking.

"Okay, so, we found this river! Mabel come here, just put the camera down!" There is a shuffling as the camera is balanced on some surface. Mabel comes bounding into view. Like Dipper, her lower half has been changed. However, she claims the sparkling white body of a unicorn (legs also too long and impractical, likely matching their youth). The tip of her tail is brown, like her hair, but otherwise she is unnatural in colouring, with pink hooves and spots marking her. She also has unusual ears, like Dipper, but her side parting has been changed to a centre one to make room for the horn protruding from her forehead which Dipper does not have. With each step, a burst of glitter showers the ground from her hooves.

"This is so exciting!" she exclaims, bounding around her brother.

"Okay, okay, stay still!" he insists, pulling up a board covered in photos. He attempts to wipe away his grin, forcing a professional exterior. "So, we found this river in the forest," he points to one of the photos. "Me and Mabel fell in and-"

"It turned us into monsters!"

"Yeah, yeah," all attempts at appearing professional are abandoned now, "and then our Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford came to look and-"

"It turned them into monsters too!"

Dipper grabs the camera excitedly. "Look I'll show you, okay".

There is a cut and suddenly the camera is facing the stairs as the twins struggle to run down them, though they are out of sight. Dipper runs into the living room, revealing Stan hunched over on his seat watching TV.

"Grunkle Stan is a Gargoyle," Dipper announces, causing the old man to look up.

"What are you doing?" he growls, but he doesn't move from his seat. He appears to be rather uncomfortable. He's dressed in his usual home attire, an unwashed tank and no pants, so his stoney grey skin is clearly visible on camera. There appears to be dirt brown dust coating the seat. He also has a pair of great, leathery wings pressed against the back of the chair, likely the source of his discomfort.

"Maybe," Mabel chimes, prancing into frame, "you'd be more comfy if you perched up on the roof!" she suggested.

Stan shoots her down instantly, "Not happening." When he takes a sip of his drink, his joints crack like breaking stone. "Yeesh, as if my old bones didn't hurt enough."

A padding is heard and both Mabel and Stan look at something behind the camera. The camera flips around revealing a lion-like figure. He retains a human head, and though he is wearing long clothes, he clearly has large yellow paws for both hands and feet, along with a tail. Red and blue patterned wings are folded neatly on his back, he also appears uncomfortable with them however.

"Hold this," Dipper instructs and he skids excitedly over to Ford. "Great Uncle Ford is a Sphinx," Dipper says to the camera and Ford looks extremely confused. He mumbles a short "who are you talking to" but Dipper seems not to hear him. "My theory is that the river turns you into a monster which matches your personality. See, Great Uncle Ford is really smart (Stan coughs off-screen) and Stan never moves from his seat and-"

"And I love unicorns!" Mabel cheers.

"Yes exactly!" Dipper holds his hand out to Mabel as though he was presenting her as an example. He looks up to Ford. "What do you think?"

Ford holds a pawed finger up to his chin, brows furrowed as he thinks. "It certainly is a good theory," Dipper beams, "I don't think the river is picking monsters at random, however we'd need a bigger sample size to say for definite."

"We are _not_ shoving the whole of Gravity falls into that river," Stan commands. Ford laughs nervously.

"No no of course not," he trails off, deep in thought. "Unless..."

The camera spins back to Stanley when he talks again. Mabel must set it down on something because she trots into frame next to her Grunkle. "Look, can you just figure out a way to turn us back? My back is killing me."

"No," Mabel cries, she stomps her hoof and a great pile of glitter coats the floor. "I want to stay like this forever, this is great!"

"What about school?" Dipper questions, to which Mabel responds with an enthusiastic "Who cares!" She swishes her tail, or perhaps it does so on it's own, and smacks Stan with another burst of glitter.

"Mabel, sweetie, you're cleaning this up. Now."

There is another cut. Though the camera doesn't move Stan and Ford have both disappeared, leaving only Mabel looking something dejected sweeping up piles of glitter with a broom. Her efforts are fruitless as with each sweep her tail flicks and another pile of glitter manifests behind her. Dipper trots into frame, looking smug. When Mabel sees him she aims her next sweep of glitter into his face. Dipper coughs and complains, rubbing his eyes, when suddenly the camera falls.

Both the twins are shouting, but the camera only has view of the ceiling. Dust is falling from it, as if something heavy were walking on the roof. Footsteps are heard and Dipper picks up the camera, turning it towards himself and his sister. Their bodies are back to normal, no trace of their previous forms. Mabel looks disappointed but has tossed aside her broom. The glitter is now more scattered than ever.

"So it seems like the effects wear off after a couple hours," Dipper explains, dusting glitter off of himself.

Mabel suddenly perks up, grabbing Dipper's arm and shaking him. "We can go back! Maybe it'll turn us into something different this time!" Dipper looks as excited at the idea as she is, he moves to speak but they are interrupted by Stan's very distinct voice coming from outside. He sounds ecstatic.

"I'm flyin'," he shouts, "I'm flyin' I'm really- wh- woah-" He screams, Dipper and Mabel rush to the window as a figure crashes to the ground. The camera cuts out again.

Now, Stan is groaning on the couch, lying on his stomach, entirely human.

"Why on Earth would you jump off the roof, Stanley," Ford berates, placing another pack of frozen peas onto his back. Stan only groans in response.

Soos is sweeping up the last of the glitter into a dustpan, whistling a little tune.

"Okay, thanks for watching today's episode of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained."

"Dipper come help me with this."

"Okay, in the next episode we will be-"

"Dipper!"

Dipper reaches for the camera, "bye!"


End file.
